Apparently, Dermatillomania as a name, is being phased out. The new name: Excoriation disorder - is now being enforced. Furthermore, I’ve heard about Trichotillomania being renamed to Trichotillia - which I strongly oppose. This is all news to me and I want to research further into all this, but…
A young man was tired of his dad always yelling at him to “just stop picking.” He finally told his dad, “when you tell me to just stop, it reminds me that I am failing myself and disappointing you, and makes me feel bad about myself.” Dad asked how he can help, and his son said, “Ask me to do you…
You know these moments when you’re picking horribly and you know you’re doing it? You tell yourself that “maybe it’s not a good idea” and that “you’d better stop”, but your fingers continue to pick and you have this extremely powerless feeling of having no control at all..
The next time you feel this way, try to close your eyes. You probably know that it’s better to tell your brain what to DO instead of what not to do. I found out that closing my eyes is the most feasible thing I can do at these moments to gain back the control. Just close your eyes and instead of feeling guilty take a deep breath. As deep as you can. Keep your eyes closed for as long as you need. I personally find it easier to move away from the mirror with my eyes closed.
Maybe it’s better to prevent yourself from picking, maybe not. But one thing I believe in is that sometimes it’s just not possible to prevent yourself from doing it. I am one of those who don’t believe in being pick free forever. And I think that’s perfectly fine, as long as I don’t feel like being stuck / not able to stop. So for me this (and other mindfulness exercises) is gold and I wanted to share it.
Society demands that we keep overcoming, overcoming, overcoming. But we don’t have to. Nowhere is it written that to be a really real human you have to brute force your way through your limits. Nowhere is it written that not doing so makes you less worthy. For most people, constantly refusing to acknowledge that you have limits is seen as a problem. We all have limits & we are supposed to acknowledge them, know where they are, work within them.
But when you have a disability, it’s like everyone expects you to push past your limits all the time. They want to be inspired, or they want to not have to deal with the fact that a disability means “there are things I cannot and will never be able to do”, even as they expect me to know there are things I can do that they will never be able to.
So we are pushed to keep ‘overcoming’, and if we can’t we are failures and lazy. But if we can, we aren’t really disabled. It’s a no win either way."
Just thought about that if there are about twice as much people with dermatillomania then there are with trich (according to the TLC), this means that - based on a population of 16.8 million people in Holland - there are between 672.201 and 1.344.402 people in The Netherlands who have dermatillomania. This tiny little country! This implies that there are at least 6000 - 12.000 people who experience dermatillomania in their lives, in just the city I live in. This in turn means that there are more than 300 people with it in the district/neighbourhood I live in.
I knew I was not alone, but this, this is unbelievable. This tiny little dot on the map.. so many people.. wow. It really is a disorder covered in secrecy.